Summary:

When Paul told aged men to be sober, grave, temperate, and sound in faith, charity and patience, and then said that the aged women “likewise” should be “as becometh holiness,” that means aged women should be holy by being all those things as well. When Paul wrote of the ancient Gentile world that “even their women” were sinful (Rom. 1:31), that reminds us that women are the guardians of decency in society.

But then Paul tells aged women to be holy in an area that’s hard for them when he says they shouldn’t be “false accusers.” This is hard in that women tend to hurt with words (I Tim. 3:11) while men hurt with their fists (I Tim. 3:2,3). Paul adds they shouldn’t be given to wine because wine tends to overcome a woman’s inhibition not to slander others.

The “good things” Paul wants aged women to teach younger women (v.4) include being sober. Coming right after being told not to be given to wine, this means not drunk. Women can be tempted to drink because they must also “love their husbands” (v.4), and some men aren’t easy to love. Aged women must teach this by their example, and by the example of Christ, who loved the unlovable (Rom. 5:6,10). If a wife doesn’t love her husband, she must realize that if love can be taught by aged women, love can be learned by young wives.

You wouldn’t think that wives would need to be taught “to love their children” (2:4), for a mother naturally loves her children. But sin can make women “without natural affection” (Rom. 1:31; II Tim. 3:3). So moms sometimes abuse or abandon their children, and need to be taught not to.

Young wives must be taught to be “discreet” (2:5), which means wise in avoiding mistakes and accomplishing a purpose (cf. Gen. 41:33) — the purpose of making a home for her husband and kids. They must also learn to be “chaste,” pure from extramarital sexual contact. Young wives must also be “keepers at home” (2:5). Some say that means she shouldn’t have any kind of life outside the home, but zookeepers and barkeepers do, as do jailkeepers (Acts 16:27). They keep prisoners from escaping, and so must the mothers of young children! Keepers of sheep (Gen. 4:2) feed and care for them, as moms do their kids. Doorkeepers (Ps. 84:10) must keep more than the door to the house, but also the door of their kids’ mouths (Ps. 141:3) by watching what they say. Doorkeepers in the temple also kept false religions out (II Ki.23:4), and moms must keep false teachers from creeping into the house (cf. II Tim. 3:6). Kids might not seem to be paying attention, but they learn little by little by repetition (Isa. 28:10,11). Moms also have to be the “keeper of the wardrobe” (II Ki. 22:14), in charge of laundry.

Mothers can also be doorkeepers that are involved in the family finances (cf. II Chron. 34:9,10). The virtuous woman did (Pr. 31:16-24), as did Lydia (Acts 16:14). These women were involved in earning finances as well as managing them.

Some Christians believe wives can work outside the home before they have kids, or after the kids are grown. Some believe they can operate home businesses. But if it is your understanding that wives shouldn’t work outside the home, just don’t judge those who hold other convictions (Rom. 14:4,5). Whatever your position, God is on your side!

Young wives must also learn “to be obedient to their own husbands.” Are there exceptions to this rule? Well, are there exceptions to the rule that all believers must obey the government? (Dan. 3:8-18; Acts 5:29). In the same way, if a wife’s husband asks her to cheat on their income taxes, she can refuse to sign the return. Do wives have to obey when he wishes to be intimate and she doesn’t? It’s easy for a husband to read I Corinthians 7:4 and say to his wife, “I have power over your body so I can do as I please with it.” But he’s forgetting his wife has power over his body and so he can’t do as he pleases with it.

Summary:

The word “become” (v.1) means fitting or appropriate. For example, women weren’t well received in Roman society, but Paul told the Romans that it isn’t fitting for God’s people not to receive a woman just because she’s a woman (Rom. 16:1,2).

“Become” also means to make something look good. The bickering in Philippi wasn’t making the gospel look good (Phil. 1:27). So when Paul told Titus to “speak the things which become sound doctrine,” he was telling him to speak to believers and tell them how to act in appropriate ways that make sound doctrine look good.

To do that, he tells aged men to be “sober” (2:2). The only thing sadder than a drunk is an old drunk, for hope that he will quit drinking has faded. “Sober” also means not thinking higher of yourself than you ought (Rom. 12:3), as aged men sometimes look back at their lives and do, like Nebuchadnezzar (Dn. 4:30). That’s not becoming to sound doctrine!

Aged men must also be “grave” (2:2), a word that means to be serious—serious about the things of the Lord!Sometimes aged men relax their commitment to the truth, thinking they’ve done enough for the truth in their lives. Knowing this, Paul tells them to be grave instead.

He also tells them to be “temperate” (2:2), which means moderate. It’s related to the word “temper,” which we think of as anger, but that’s what happens when you lose your temper. Your temper is the calm, moderate way you’re supposed to look at things without losing your temper. Not all aged men can look back at their lives and feel good about their accomplishments, and so get angry. But aged Christian men shouldn’t, because if you’re saved you’ve accomplished a praiseworthy amount of things for the Lord (I Cor. 4:5).

Aged men should also be “sound in faith” (2:2). “Sound” means healthy and strong (cf. Isa. 1:6). He’s not saying aged men should be strong in the faith, the body of truth given to Paul. That’s true, but here it means strong in faithfulness or dependability (cf. Rom. 3:3). Aged men need to be told to be sound in faith because with age comes weariness in well doing (Gal. 6:9).

Aged men must also be sound “in charity” (2:2), which means being sound in longsuffering (I Cor. 13:4), which gets harder as you get older! Charity also “envieth not” (13:4). Envy hurts worse when you get older because toward the end of your life you realize you probably aren’t going to ever get the things you spent your life envying!

Being sound in charity also means not being “puffed up” (13:4) with knowledge (I Cor. 8:4). Old men have to be warned about this because they have accumulated a lot of knowledge! Charity also doesn’t behave “unseemly” (13:5), or inappropriately in sensual areas (cf. Rom. 1:27). Being a dirty old man is unbecoming to sound doctrine.

Charity also “believeth all things” (13:7), that is, believes the best about someone. That’s hard for aged men after a lifetime of seeing people at their worst, but they must if they want to be sound “in charity.”

Aged men should also be sound “in patience” (2:2), a word often associated with being patient for the coming of the Lord (Ps. 37:7). That gets harder for older men after a lifetime of watching the unsaved prosper, as Psalm 37:7 talks about.

Are you sound in faith? One definition of “sound” is to strike something to see if it is strong based on the sound it makes when you strike it. If you’re not sure if you’re faithfulness is sound, you’ll find out when something in life strikes it. Similarly, if you’re not sure if you are sound in charity, you’ll find out when you offer someone charity and they lash out at you.

We should all learn to walk in ways that are becoming to the sound doctrine we preach. It’s not enough to believe sound doctrine, it’s not enough to teach sound doctrine. We must live sound doctrine in such a way that is becoming to it!