One member of a family is often outspoken and bombastic. She goes out of her way to be offensive, rude, disrespectful, and defiant. She is constantly posting what even she calls “controversial” things on Facebook. Then she verbally attacks anyone with whom she disagrees in a degrading manner. Perhaps you have encountered someone like this. How are Christians supposed to respond to such frequent mistreatment?

We learn from Ecclesiastes 3:1: “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.” This passage goes on to explain there are times to “…keep silence, and a time to speak…” or “…to break down, and a time to build up” (vss. 7,3). God does not demand that we simply take every wrong, be everyone’s doormat, or suffer in silence regardless of what abusive behavior is heaped upon us. Sometimes we must stand up to abusive behavior. However, this should not be our first or regular response. In Titus 3:2, Paul gives us a general rule to guide our conduct when he says: “To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.” We are to seek to avoid conflict when we can. Treating others with gentleness will often avert problems. Having humility with strength under pressure is a good testimony to all. Even when grossly mistreated, we are to “recompense to no man evil for evil” but instead seek to “…live peaceably with all men” (Romans 12:17-18). If it isn’t possible to live peaceably with an individual, it is appropriate to object to their wrong behavior, insist they stop, distance ourself from them, or seek the help of others to stop the abuse. However, we must always be careful in our attitude, reaction, and motives. It would be very easy to allow our flesh to take control and our actions degrade to the level of the abuser. Our ardent goal must be to maintain a good testimony for Christ. It may be easier to do so if we keep in mind how foolish we once were before being saved, and purpose to live for Christ. Paul tells us: “For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another” (Titus 3:3).

Abusers are often unhappy people with a void without Christ in their lives. They need to see Christ in us. Pray that Christ will enable you to demonstrate Him to the wrongdoer.