The TV is my shepherd, I shall not want for entertainment.
It maketh me to lie down on the sofa.
It leadeth me away from the Scriptures.
It destroyeth my soul.
It leadeth me in the path of sex and violence for the sponsor’s sake.
Yea, though I walk in the shadow of my Christian responsibilities,
There will be no interruption,
For the TV is with me, its cable and remote, they control me.
It prepareth a commercial before me in the presence of worldliness;
It anointeth my head with humanism,
My coveting runneth over.
Surely laziness and ignorance shall follow me all the days of my life,
And I shall dwell in the house watching TV forever.

—Author Unknown