The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype unit code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically termed “Subsequential Internal Non- Morality” or more commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily characterized by loss of moral judgment. Some other symptoms are:
- Loss of direction
- Foul vocal emissions
- Amnesia of origin
- Lack of peace and joy
- Selfish or violent behavior
- Depression or confusion in mental component
- Fearful
The manufacturer, who is neither liable or at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service FREE of charge to correct the SIN defect. [The number to call in your area is F-A-I-T-H. Simply believe that Christ died for your sins, was buried and rose again, and your unit will be regenerated. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Christ will repair and replace it with]:
- Forgiveness
- Love
- Joy
- Peace
- Longsuffering
- Gentleness
- Goodness
- Faith
- Meekness
- Temperance
Please see operating manual HOLY BIBLE for further details on the use of these fixes. [See sections I Cor. 15:1-4; Eph. 1:7; and Gal. 5:16-26].
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human unit without correction voids the manufacturer’s warranty, exposing the owner to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. [For free emergency service before it’s too late: call upon the Lord Jesus Christ who loved us and gave Himself a ransom for our sins].
DANGER: The human units not receiving this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace.
This action was authorized by the Creator.
To the Reader:
Some of our Two Minutes articles were written many years ago by Pastor C. R. Stam for publication in newspapers. When many of these articles were later compiled in book form, Pastor Stam wrote this word of explanation in the Preface:
"It should be borne in mind that the newspaper column, Two Minutes With the Bible, has now been published for many years, so that local, national and international events are discussed as if they occurred only recently. Rather than rewrite or date such articles, we have left them just as they were when first published. This, we felt, would add to the interest, especially since our readers understand that they first appeared as newspaper articles."
To this we would add that the same is true for the articles written by others that we continue to add, on a regular basis, to the Two Minutes library. We hope that you'll agree that while some of the references in these articles are dated, the spiritual truths taught therein are timeless.
Two Minutes with the Bible is now available on Alexa devices. Full instructions here.